Oh how I love pissing my brother off over a computer before 9 o'clock in the morning. Its just so wonderful! No, I'm not serious. That was sarcasm, and there seriously needs to be a sarcasm font, just so I can indicate sarcasm better. I've meantioned this on Music = Life, but I feel like taking this further for a few minutes. I also feel like talking about a few other things, even though it seems like nobody actually takes the time to read these things.
So yesterday, I finally changed the cover picture for Music = Life to be themed around Warped tour. Its fitting since the first date of the 2012 Warped tour is in three weeks, on June 16. The page though is not fully done yet, and its driving me nuts! It wouldn't bother me if Asking Alexandria was on Warped tour again this year, because then I could argue that it still goes with the theme, but since they aren't, its totally thrown off. My OCD is apparently kicking it and there's nothing I can do about it because my dad and brother are hogging the computer for a stupid fucking game! I feel like I don't dare say, "Well, can I actually get on there? I'm not wanting to play like you guys, I actually have work to do." I'm pretty sure I'd just get my head chewed off if I did that. So, I must keep my mouth shut because clearly Diablo 3 is way more important than the thing I'm sort of building a career off of.
Yes, I'm pissed off. I find it highly unfair really, but whatever. I was going to try to get Photoshop on the laptop and just getting the unfinished graphic on here, but that failed. I'm just screwed for now. A friend of mine is going to help me out, so soon I'll be able to fix it. What would be the easiest is just getting me my own computer. That way, I could be on it as much as I want, with my Photoshop, and iTunes easily accessable.
I promise, as soon as I can, it'll get done. As for the website, I haven't actually decided if I'm going to change it or not. The layout is currently themed around All Time Low, and has been for a month or two now. If I don't change it, I'm still good to go because they are on Warped tour this year. They also happen to be the number one band on my list of 'must see' bands at Warped tour. This being said, if I find the time, I might be changing it to go along with the multipule band theme, just in time for Warped tour. I do rather enjoy this layout, I love how it turned out. 'Course, I'm sure you're aware of that, its been up since April.
I will get around to everything, but for now I must get off here and do stuff in the real world.
Saturday, May 26, 2012
Saturday, May 19, 2012
The Fine Brothers: My Music has inspired me!
The Fine brothers are Youtube Famous, which doesn't always say much. For them though, their fame is at the top. That is because they are the creator's of the very popular Kids React and Teens React. Now they are also the creator's of a brand new series, My Music. I can't get enough of it, not only is it amusing as hell, but its a great way to bring music of all genres together in one place, for millions of people.
Since it begun a few weeks ago, I've been paying attention to it. Being the aspiring music journalist I am, I feel they are on to something amazing. Their different segments are very well put together, and while I can not do the hour long live shows, or even the video thing there are ways I could grow from their ideas.
I already do the news thing from time to time, and interviews, but what if I got more fan interaction? They get characters like Scene and Metal to do questions from fans and ask some of their own. I can't make them in video form like I'd like for now, but I could answer them either in special blogs each week or in a lyric video style kind of video. One where the question is posted, and then I type my answer, and any responses to my questions could have a screenshot in the video. It might not be ideal, but it could work.
In case it isn't totally obvious, I'm always trying to improve Immortal Music, but honestly its hard when you're not getting any feedback. I'm not sure if anyone remembers this, but back at the beginning of the year I set up a schedule saying that every day I'd post news on Immortal Music, and new album reviews every Monday and Friday. Then on Music = Life, there'd be at least one hour of music every single day, games of Would You Rather every Monday, lyric games every Tuesday. I planned to post something every single of day of the week, but I fell behind and nobody even noticed, so I just decided it wasn't worth it.
I'm thinking I may tweek my schedule a bit, and actually do it. I mean, come on, I could do it. I decided against doing band biographies, because quite frankly they are too much hassle. I now only post the ones that band managers themselves send me. Those are different, I don't need to keep up with them, because its just a quick synopsis about the band and that's it. I guess I practice doing those more, but I don't really care that much about those. If people don't know about a band, they just ask me and I can explain in like two sentences. Or people Google it and learn about it in like two seconds.
Album reviews are honestly my favorite, they're quick and easy to right and you can really pay attention to the music. That's the entire point to the band, so what a better way to get to the point? When I write album reviews, I rarely write just one. I'll write at least two, but sometimes three or four in one sitting just because its not that time consuming. Yeah, it will sometimes take an hour or two, but I've got the time.
So how about this? I keep posting the reviews the way I have been, which is several at a time, a couple times a week. Generally two or more get posted at a time, and if I wanted to, I could honestly post two or three times a week.
Here's what I'm thinking you guys. I'll step up my game with the reviews, play either would you rather or some form of lyric game every day or something. The news will be posted at least once a week, maybe more, depending on what's going on in the music world that week. I'll post at least one graphic a week, maybe more, and on top of that I'll start taking fan questions and I'll do a 'question of the day' kind of deal, screenshot the best answers, and put it into a video. Sort of like some of the great YouTubers do, only different. I'll even let you guys pick what the song plays in the background.
If you're into these ideas, leave a comment here or on Music = Life telling me so. If more than say two people tell me they like the idea, I'll start the 'festivites' on Monday! I hope to hear from you guys soon, and I just hope you know that I appericate any feedback I get. Sorry if I took too long to get to the point, you should know by now that I'm very wordy.
Since it begun a few weeks ago, I've been paying attention to it. Being the aspiring music journalist I am, I feel they are on to something amazing. Their different segments are very well put together, and while I can not do the hour long live shows, or even the video thing there are ways I could grow from their ideas.
I already do the news thing from time to time, and interviews, but what if I got more fan interaction? They get characters like Scene and Metal to do questions from fans and ask some of their own. I can't make them in video form like I'd like for now, but I could answer them either in special blogs each week or in a lyric video style kind of video. One where the question is posted, and then I type my answer, and any responses to my questions could have a screenshot in the video. It might not be ideal, but it could work.
In case it isn't totally obvious, I'm always trying to improve Immortal Music, but honestly its hard when you're not getting any feedback. I'm not sure if anyone remembers this, but back at the beginning of the year I set up a schedule saying that every day I'd post news on Immortal Music, and new album reviews every Monday and Friday. Then on Music = Life, there'd be at least one hour of music every single day, games of Would You Rather every Monday, lyric games every Tuesday. I planned to post something every single of day of the week, but I fell behind and nobody even noticed, so I just decided it wasn't worth it.
I'm thinking I may tweek my schedule a bit, and actually do it. I mean, come on, I could do it. I decided against doing band biographies, because quite frankly they are too much hassle. I now only post the ones that band managers themselves send me. Those are different, I don't need to keep up with them, because its just a quick synopsis about the band and that's it. I guess I practice doing those more, but I don't really care that much about those. If people don't know about a band, they just ask me and I can explain in like two sentences. Or people Google it and learn about it in like two seconds.
Album reviews are honestly my favorite, they're quick and easy to right and you can really pay attention to the music. That's the entire point to the band, so what a better way to get to the point? When I write album reviews, I rarely write just one. I'll write at least two, but sometimes three or four in one sitting just because its not that time consuming. Yeah, it will sometimes take an hour or two, but I've got the time.
So how about this? I keep posting the reviews the way I have been, which is several at a time, a couple times a week. Generally two or more get posted at a time, and if I wanted to, I could honestly post two or three times a week.
Here's what I'm thinking you guys. I'll step up my game with the reviews, play either would you rather or some form of lyric game every day or something. The news will be posted at least once a week, maybe more, depending on what's going on in the music world that week. I'll post at least one graphic a week, maybe more, and on top of that I'll start taking fan questions and I'll do a 'question of the day' kind of deal, screenshot the best answers, and put it into a video. Sort of like some of the great YouTubers do, only different. I'll even let you guys pick what the song plays in the background.
If you're into these ideas, leave a comment here or on Music = Life telling me so. If more than say two people tell me they like the idea, I'll start the 'festivites' on Monday! I hope to hear from you guys soon, and I just hope you know that I appericate any feedback I get. Sorry if I took too long to get to the point, you should know by now that I'm very wordy.
Thursday, May 17, 2012
I'm real with you guys
I was watching a Blood On The Dance Floor interview, the latest one from Bryan Stars actually, and I started thinking. I really love what they stand for, I honestly do. They're all about not caring what people think, and being yourself. They also geniunely love their fans. I know they have a lot of haters, but hey, that simply means you're doing something right.
As I was watching this interview, on the heels of thinking about how I want to fix my faded pink hair so its back to bright purple, and get my tattoos and piercings, I started thinking about how I run the page. I know most admins of pages that are trying to be professional don't just talk about random things, and they don't give their opinions on everything. Nor do they sit there quoting an interview they're watching, just because they're having fun. I'm not a normal admin, but it seems to work for me.
I'm real with you guys! I consider a lot of the fans on the page to be friends of mine. When people are active enough, I start recongizing their name and sometimes even remembering things they tell me. I update Music = Life more than I update my own profile, because I feel like a lot of it is more acceptable on the page then it is on my profile. I know it sounds stupid, but its kind of true. I know my friends would get sick of me posting the way I like to on the page, but on the page its totally different. Its actually enjoyable to all then. Or at least, I think it is. Please tell me if I'm wrong.
You want to know who I am? I'm the one who actually enjoys being able to sit on the computer pretty much every day. I am a boring person, I perfer having a daily routine that consists of the computer, texting, IMing, televison, talking on the phone, and going to bed. With that routine, about two or three times a week getting out of the house. I like that. Yes, it'll change once I get a job, but honestly, on my days off, I'll do the same thing as always. I like knowing the option of doing basically nothing is there for me. Or the option to work on graphics or my website is there.
Here's who I am, in a nut shell. A computer addicted, music obessed, almost 19 year old writer, who loves to stand out. I'm not trying to be different just so I don't fit in, I stand out because I like it. I love the unnatural hair colors. Right now, my hair has faded to pink, but it was a vibrant purple a few weeks ago. I want it back like that, with blue underneath. I also love tattoos and piercings! I believe I've meantioned this before, but I want two, now three tattoos, and a few piercings. I've been told its "immature", but you know what? I don't give a fuck! I like it, so what should it matter? I plan on getting my tattoos, and all my piercings. I want a Papa Roach quote on my wrist, my great grandpa's name, birthdate and deathdate somewhere (I'm not sure where, yet, I just know I want it.), and a heart with a musical note on my right side. I'll probably end up with more throughout my life, honestly.
As for piercings I want my lip pierced the most, at least two more in my ears, my bellybutton and kind of my tongue. I'm not so sure about the bellybutton and tongue, thre's so much that can go wrong with those! I'm mainly concerned about how you're supposed to keep the tongue one from getting infected, how you'd keep food out of it, and how you're supposed to keep it clean. I mean, its in your mouth for Pete sake! I don't know, I need to do more research on that. As for the bellybutton piercing, that makes me nervous because I've been told they can get ripped out so easily, and that sounds beyond painful to me.
I don't know, I've heard multipule things about piercings and tattoos on girls. Some guys say its hot, some say its ugly. Some people seem to think anyone with piercings and crazy colored hair in band tees are immature, but I'm not so sure about that. I personally, think its awesome, and its just another form of expression. I personally think I'd high five someone's grandma if I saw her walking around with a stud in her lip, tattoos all over, and either was in a band tee or said she had one back home. That will be me one day! Hell, I'll be the granny that probably gets my grandkids to help me put crazy colors in my hair. And hey, at that point, I won't need the bleach, because I'll be gray!
I am who I am, and I like expressing it. Anyone who doesn't like that, can get the fuck out. I don't care.
As I was watching this interview, on the heels of thinking about how I want to fix my faded pink hair so its back to bright purple, and get my tattoos and piercings, I started thinking about how I run the page. I know most admins of pages that are trying to be professional don't just talk about random things, and they don't give their opinions on everything. Nor do they sit there quoting an interview they're watching, just because they're having fun. I'm not a normal admin, but it seems to work for me.
I'm real with you guys! I consider a lot of the fans on the page to be friends of mine. When people are active enough, I start recongizing their name and sometimes even remembering things they tell me. I update Music = Life more than I update my own profile, because I feel like a lot of it is more acceptable on the page then it is on my profile. I know it sounds stupid, but its kind of true. I know my friends would get sick of me posting the way I like to on the page, but on the page its totally different. Its actually enjoyable to all then. Or at least, I think it is. Please tell me if I'm wrong.
You want to know who I am? I'm the one who actually enjoys being able to sit on the computer pretty much every day. I am a boring person, I perfer having a daily routine that consists of the computer, texting, IMing, televison, talking on the phone, and going to bed. With that routine, about two or three times a week getting out of the house. I like that. Yes, it'll change once I get a job, but honestly, on my days off, I'll do the same thing as always. I like knowing the option of doing basically nothing is there for me. Or the option to work on graphics or my website is there.
Here's who I am, in a nut shell. A computer addicted, music obessed, almost 19 year old writer, who loves to stand out. I'm not trying to be different just so I don't fit in, I stand out because I like it. I love the unnatural hair colors. Right now, my hair has faded to pink, but it was a vibrant purple a few weeks ago. I want it back like that, with blue underneath. I also love tattoos and piercings! I believe I've meantioned this before, but I want two, now three tattoos, and a few piercings. I've been told its "immature", but you know what? I don't give a fuck! I like it, so what should it matter? I plan on getting my tattoos, and all my piercings. I want a Papa Roach quote on my wrist, my great grandpa's name, birthdate and deathdate somewhere (I'm not sure where, yet, I just know I want it.), and a heart with a musical note on my right side. I'll probably end up with more throughout my life, honestly.
As for piercings I want my lip pierced the most, at least two more in my ears, my bellybutton and kind of my tongue. I'm not so sure about the bellybutton and tongue, thre's so much that can go wrong with those! I'm mainly concerned about how you're supposed to keep the tongue one from getting infected, how you'd keep food out of it, and how you're supposed to keep it clean. I mean, its in your mouth for Pete sake! I don't know, I need to do more research on that. As for the bellybutton piercing, that makes me nervous because I've been told they can get ripped out so easily, and that sounds beyond painful to me.
I don't know, I've heard multipule things about piercings and tattoos on girls. Some guys say its hot, some say its ugly. Some people seem to think anyone with piercings and crazy colored hair in band tees are immature, but I'm not so sure about that. I personally, think its awesome, and its just another form of expression. I personally think I'd high five someone's grandma if I saw her walking around with a stud in her lip, tattoos all over, and either was in a band tee or said she had one back home. That will be me one day! Hell, I'll be the granny that probably gets my grandkids to help me put crazy colors in my hair. And hey, at that point, I won't need the bleach, because I'll be gray!
I am who I am, and I like expressing it. Anyone who doesn't like that, can get the fuck out. I don't care.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Two week update.
I have been in Indiana a little over two weeks now, and while I have gotten homesick and wanted to go home from time to time, it's actually been a good time so far. I've actually been really enjpying spending so much time with my best friend, as we've known each other six years and have never gotten to spend this much time together. We haven't gotten to so a ton yet, but compared TO what I'm used to,we sort of have. We've been into Indianapolis twice in the past week, for the mall, an Earth Day festival, and my first ever muesum.
We've been having a lot of fun. We went of Build A Bear, where I made my first one, it's a little tan bunny, that I named Ashley, after Ashley Purdy of Black Veil Brides. We all went into a Hot Topic that had a screen in the back that they played music videos on. I think they got the idea from the Disney store, which was across the hall. Speaking of Disney stores! Has anyone heard of that game where you try to get to the back of the Disney store without a single employee saying anything to you? For the first time ever, I managed that. Twice.
On Saturday we went to the earth day festival. That was boring and cold, so we decided to check out the muesum that was right next to it. I hadn't ever been in a muesum before, but even though the name of the place sounded boring, it was actually pretty cool. We saw old TV's from the 60s to the 2000s, old trains and cars, famous people that were born in Indiana, like the Jackson's an Axel Rose. They even had their own mini rock and roll hall of fame! Unfortunately, that section Said we werent allowed to take pictures. That annoyed the both of us, a lot. They had huge pictures of ate Beatles, and an actual guitar used by Elvis Presley. So that was pretty cool. I still do not get why they had picturs of Marilyn Monroe, Abraham Lincoln, and George Washington in there.
I am also so proud of Sara and IM I've been sleeping on an air mattress for the past two weeks, and it had a hole in it on the side. We fixed that last week, but air was still eacaping from, but we didnt know where it was. Last night, Sara refilled it, and was laying on it and it sunk down overly fast? So we filled it back up and began searching for the hole. We checked all the sides, and found nothing, so we decided to check the top. Sure enough. There were to, somewhat big holes on the top. So we patched those up with duct tape and superglue, and fused it together with a hair drier. Last night was the first night it didn't deflate at all so that made me very happy.
I also went to church for the first time in a few years yesterday. We just helped out int he misery, but that's something I am generally alright with. I enjoy little kids. We also went out or launch with some people that are just like family to Sara at a chinese buffet. It was some really good food.
I'm going to turnoff the Ipad soon, clean up some and hop int he showr soon. I'd like to get some suff done before tonight, when we got to their pastor's daughter's birthday party. I met her yesterday, she seemed really nice. I think I baffled a lot of people by knowg who they were before heheh introduced themselves. Most of them knew who I was though, because Sara likes to talk about the people in her life. That didn't sound good, but I meant it to.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
It's been one week
I've been up north for exactly a week now. I am doing well, though there is a lot I missBputhome. Like having a real bed, a computer that isn't a dinosaur, a tv with actual channels in my room.... Mainly the little things. It seems weird to think I've already been up here a week. I dont know where the time went. I've been having fun for the most part though, and I've gotten Adjusted surprisingly well.
If I do say so myself, and I do, I think I'm doing so much better than expected. We all expected that the entire first week I'd cry wanting to go home. I have cried, but not because I wanted to go home. That was because of my great grandpa's death. I talked about that in the last blog, if anyone actually read that.
I got to my best friend's house this past Saturday, and I am really enjoying spending time with her. We haven't been able to spend more than a day or two together in about four years. She moved up north About four years ago and our time together got limited to a day or two once a year or so when her family came down for visits. It's really nice getting to see each other every day. I'm sure it'll get old eventually, that we will begin to drive each other crazy but that's inevitable. Regardless of the inevitable For now I am loving it here. I'm enjoying not only being with my best friend, but the feeling of being on my own when I'm not.
I've applied for a job As a receptionist at Sara's beauty school on Tuesday. That same day she cut my hair to look similar to Ashley Purdy's from Black Veil Brides, and did my nails. I told her she is lucky I love her because I did let her do a pedicure and while mot people love those, I HATE having my feet touched. She did a good job but there were several points I pulled away just because of my own disgust. The night before that she dyed my hair right ple and I love it so much. Sooner or later, we are going to put blue on too. It's currently two to ed, purple on top, brown on the bottom. I think eventually the brown part will be turned blue, but I'm not sure when just yet.
Our room is set up, And I've made her dad very happy because yesterday while they were all out I cleaned the house and did the laundry. I guess he honestly didn't elect me to so Anything around the house after All. I told him I would help out, but I guess he didn't believe it.
I'm one of these people that does work when I'm home alone. I get bored and nobody is in my way so I cn actually get a lot done.
Well guys, nowhou're cAught up. I'm not sure what we're doing this weekend. A few things were discussed. Her dad ants to go mushroom hunting, though I'm not sure how that sounds like fun. Tere just mushrooms, and all you're doing is finding the, And picking them. Big freakin' deal. Sara and I are talking about either going shoe shopping, or to Indianapolas' four story mall. Can you believe until this past weekend, I had never even seen a two story mall? Most people say the mall I'm used to back home isn't even a mall because it's just that small. Everyone from My part of Florida knows what I'm talking about.
I do not disclose where I am exactly for safety reasons. It's not smart to say exactly where you live on the web. Those who have me a a friend on Facebook will know where I live and where I'm from, but other than that, you will only know the state.
Keep checking back for more updates. I promise to try to post More on Music = Life, but to help me puti got my "manager" Jonathan to also be an admin. So far he has not posted anything, but he says he will soon.
If I do say so myself, and I do, I think I'm doing so much better than expected. We all expected that the entire first week I'd cry wanting to go home. I have cried, but not because I wanted to go home. That was because of my great grandpa's death. I talked about that in the last blog, if anyone actually read that.
I got to my best friend's house this past Saturday, and I am really enjoying spending time with her. We haven't been able to spend more than a day or two together in about four years. She moved up north About four years ago and our time together got limited to a day or two once a year or so when her family came down for visits. It's really nice getting to see each other every day. I'm sure it'll get old eventually, that we will begin to drive each other crazy but that's inevitable. Regardless of the inevitable For now I am loving it here. I'm enjoying not only being with my best friend, but the feeling of being on my own when I'm not.
I've applied for a job As a receptionist at Sara's beauty school on Tuesday. That same day she cut my hair to look similar to Ashley Purdy's from Black Veil Brides, and did my nails. I told her she is lucky I love her because I did let her do a pedicure and while mot people love those, I HATE having my feet touched. She did a good job but there were several points I pulled away just because of my own disgust. The night before that she dyed my hair right ple and I love it so much. Sooner or later, we are going to put blue on too. It's currently two to ed, purple on top, brown on the bottom. I think eventually the brown part will be turned blue, but I'm not sure when just yet.
Our room is set up, And I've made her dad very happy because yesterday while they were all out I cleaned the house and did the laundry. I guess he honestly didn't elect me to so Anything around the house after All. I told him I would help out, but I guess he didn't believe it.
I'm one of these people that does work when I'm home alone. I get bored and nobody is in my way so I cn actually get a lot done.
Well guys, nowhou're cAught up. I'm not sure what we're doing this weekend. A few things were discussed. Her dad ants to go mushroom hunting, though I'm not sure how that sounds like fun. Tere just mushrooms, and all you're doing is finding the, And picking them. Big freakin' deal. Sara and I are talking about either going shoe shopping, or to Indianapolas' four story mall. Can you believe until this past weekend, I had never even seen a two story mall? Most people say the mall I'm used to back home isn't even a mall because it's just that small. Everyone from My part of Florida knows what I'm talking about.
I do not disclose where I am exactly for safety reasons. It's not smart to say exactly where you live on the web. Those who have me a a friend on Facebook will know where I live and where I'm from, but other than that, you will only know the state.
Keep checking back for more updates. I promise to try to post More on Music = Life, but to help me puti got my "manager" Jonathan to also be an admin. So far he has not posted anything, but he says he will soon.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Lack of posts
Hey all, here i am again. I wanted to take a few minutes to explains why I haven't been posting as actively as I usually do. I am hoping to get back to posting at least somewhat more actively but for now i really haven't had the time.
I believe I made it very clear over the last few weeks that I was taking a trip to Indiana from florida. Well, on Tuesday, April 11, 2012. I made my journey up here with an old friend of my mother's and her sister. The trip went by really fast, and really enjoyed taking pictures. If anyone on Music = Life wishes to see them, let me know. For everyone else (as I plan on posting this on my Facebook profile as well), when I get them up, they'll be on my profile. You probably won't be able to miss them, as of right now, 248 on my camera. That includes the pictures from my going away party. I am having difficulties trying to post them as of right now, because my camera for some stupid reason didn't come with a cord, and the computer I am currently on is just old enough that it doesn't have an SD card slot. We'll figure something out, I'm sure. I also have some videos that I need to post. That is the easy part, though uploading them to YouTube may be a pain in the ass. Slowly but surely, I'll get you guys updated.
I've only been up here five days and I must say its been pretty hectic. I've slept in three houses, in two states since then, with three different families (only one of them is my actual family) and in only one place did I have an actual bed. My first night in Indiana, I felt a bit like Harry Potter because the room was secluded from everyone else in the house, and it had slanted ceiling. It wasn't a small room, but the slanted wall/ ceiling sort of made it feel like I was under stairs or something, even though I wasn't.
The following afternoon, I got a surprise visit from my Aunt and Uncle, and I was happy about it...for about five minutes. We gathered my stuff, and piled it in the car just for him to pull into a parking lot for a Country Club about half a mile down from the house I was staying at. I assumed he wanted to walk around, since they had just driven four hours from Michigan to come get me. So I grabbed my purse, climbed out and was prepared to go walk around a bit when he all the sudden placed a hand on my arm with a look on his face that I will probably never forget. I didn't know what was going on, until he suddenly said, "Grandpa died this morning."
My great grandpa's death came as a shock to me. Given he would have been 90 in June, and actually had practically every illness and other things that one could have, so honestly, it was a wonder he was still alive. Even the doctors didn't know why he was still alive, they said for fourty years that he should have been dead long ago. He had heart issues, diabetes, was obese, went blind, was nearly deaf, and he had only one leg after getting hit by a drunk driver while he and his wife were on a motorcycle. There were many scares, but he always pulled through. I guess I had gotten so used to him having miraculous recoveries, that I just assumed he'd make it through this too. He was in the hospital over a week, and passed away in his sleep. That is a blessing, and while it does kill me inside to know that I didn't get to see him alive one last time, and that it was so close to when I finally got back up here.
His funeral was yesterday, and I did not go. I didn't feel comfortable with it for several reasons. The main two were because a) He didn't even want a funeral in the first place. Though come to find out he did set a small one up before he passed away just so the family woulf shut up and be happy. I did not know this until I had already made up my mind about things, I had always just been told that he didn't want a funeral. Then B) I hated the thought of seeing him dead in a box, and then seeing him in the ground.
My uncle, intentionally or not, made me feel like shit about not wanting to go, on top of the fact that I had a five year old that would litterally not leave my side for two days. If I tried to leave her for more than a minute or two, she was hunting for me, and if I said I really wanted some time to myself, she'd whine. The only one who tried to get her out of my hair was my aunt. Don't get me wrong, I love the kid, and I did think it was very sweet that she wanted to spend so much time with me, but when you are emotionally unstable due to a death of a loved one, having a five year old you actually barely know clinging to your leg every two seconds really doesn't help. I did have fun with her, and my familu, but it was time for me to leave.
So early Saturday afternoon, my aunt and uncle helped me pack their SUV, and drove me about an hour away to meet up with my best friend. I've talked about her, all my friends back home, and some of the more active people on Music = Life know about her. Those who haven't met her yet, will soon, as we made like four videos in one day on Saturday, and like one very short one yesterday. As meantioned before, those will be posted as soon as possible, but it might take a while. If I can get their computer to let me, I may try to edit a couple of them together so there won't be like four very short videos. Our one from Walmart is about ten minutes though. I may actually make a video on my own, so it can be my first actual vlog. I feel a random video at Walmart just isn't the best idea to start off my 'vlogging'. I still don't like that word, I'm not sure why. I just don't.
Goodness, I get off topic! So, anyways, back on topic. See this is why I need to just start making videos, its perfectly okay to go off topic like four times then. Anyways, so Sara and I met up at what is probably the biggest mall I've ever seen. That's sort of sad to be honest, because it wasn't that big compared to some malls. It was two stories though, and I had never been in one of those. We went into Red Robins, and had lunch with her sister, Jenna and her friend DeeDee. I had never been in a Red Robins before, and honestly I wasn't overly impressed. I was told though, my problem was you must get a burger, not chicken. I am super picky about burgers, so I figured I wouldn't like theirs. Plus, they ere fucking exspensive. As it was I spent $20 on our lunch. It was just plain awful. I ended up only eating the fries!
We went into the mall, and I was so surprised! Their Hot Topic and Spencers were oth twice as big as the one I'm used to, and had more of the T-shirts I wanted. I ended up with the "Get Off Your Knees" Asking Alexandria shirt that I've wanted for a while. My Hot Topic back home only had it for a shirt while and sold out, like it does with everything actually worth buying.
I was also amazed by the two story merry-go-round. I couldn't spell the actual word to save my life, and this computer is just slow enough I can't use spell check.I had never seen such a thing! I took a picture of it and was very amused. I think if we ever go back there, we'll end up on it. We got dropped off here, did a little work on our room, and then ran back out to Walmart, and their local mall where I had one of the best sugar cookies ever! It looked like Mike from Monsters Inc, and was so good! We also went into Books A Million and found a parody of "If you give a mouse a cookie". We all know that one, but not a lot of people know "If you give a kid a cookie (will he shut the fuck up"). The book was short, so we took the five minutes o read it. Basically, don't give a kid a cookie, he still won't shut the fuck up. That is what the book said, just in different words.
This trip has prove a lot. Not only has it been hectic and fun, but I discovered that I am way stronger than I realized. My mom and I were talking the other night, she said she would have been a mess leaving home for the first time, losing my great grandpa before I could even see him, having practically no time to myself for days (which I'm used to a lot of), and then having everyone's opinion on things pushed onto me. There were times I did break down bawling, but that was because of Grandpa, not anything else. All I got from the stress was a serious case of aches and pains in my head, shoulders and back. My back still hurts, but that's probably from the air mattress.
I also discovered something. I've always had a ten o'clock "bedtime", and for some reason I always got tired around 10 or 11. Being away from home, except for on the ride over here, I haven't gotten tired before 11:30 at the earliest. One night I was up until 3 am -just because I couldn't sleep! I am wondering now if maybe I just got tired that early out of habit. It is possible, honestly.
Well, I'm gonna go now. I still have stuff to do, and would like to get more of it done before my friend comes back from school. I'll keep you guys posted as much as I can. Videos still to come, pictures too. I'm gonna go now. Bye!
I believe I made it very clear over the last few weeks that I was taking a trip to Indiana from florida. Well, on Tuesday, April 11, 2012. I made my journey up here with an old friend of my mother's and her sister. The trip went by really fast, and really enjoyed taking pictures. If anyone on Music = Life wishes to see them, let me know. For everyone else (as I plan on posting this on my Facebook profile as well), when I get them up, they'll be on my profile. You probably won't be able to miss them, as of right now, 248 on my camera. That includes the pictures from my going away party. I am having difficulties trying to post them as of right now, because my camera for some stupid reason didn't come with a cord, and the computer I am currently on is just old enough that it doesn't have an SD card slot. We'll figure something out, I'm sure. I also have some videos that I need to post. That is the easy part, though uploading them to YouTube may be a pain in the ass. Slowly but surely, I'll get you guys updated.
I've only been up here five days and I must say its been pretty hectic. I've slept in three houses, in two states since then, with three different families (only one of them is my actual family) and in only one place did I have an actual bed. My first night in Indiana, I felt a bit like Harry Potter because the room was secluded from everyone else in the house, and it had slanted ceiling. It wasn't a small room, but the slanted wall/ ceiling sort of made it feel like I was under stairs or something, even though I wasn't.
The following afternoon, I got a surprise visit from my Aunt and Uncle, and I was happy about it...for about five minutes. We gathered my stuff, and piled it in the car just for him to pull into a parking lot for a Country Club about half a mile down from the house I was staying at. I assumed he wanted to walk around, since they had just driven four hours from Michigan to come get me. So I grabbed my purse, climbed out and was prepared to go walk around a bit when he all the sudden placed a hand on my arm with a look on his face that I will probably never forget. I didn't know what was going on, until he suddenly said, "Grandpa died this morning."
My great grandpa's death came as a shock to me. Given he would have been 90 in June, and actually had practically every illness and other things that one could have, so honestly, it was a wonder he was still alive. Even the doctors didn't know why he was still alive, they said for fourty years that he should have been dead long ago. He had heart issues, diabetes, was obese, went blind, was nearly deaf, and he had only one leg after getting hit by a drunk driver while he and his wife were on a motorcycle. There were many scares, but he always pulled through. I guess I had gotten so used to him having miraculous recoveries, that I just assumed he'd make it through this too. He was in the hospital over a week, and passed away in his sleep. That is a blessing, and while it does kill me inside to know that I didn't get to see him alive one last time, and that it was so close to when I finally got back up here.
His funeral was yesterday, and I did not go. I didn't feel comfortable with it for several reasons. The main two were because a) He didn't even want a funeral in the first place. Though come to find out he did set a small one up before he passed away just so the family woulf shut up and be happy. I did not know this until I had already made up my mind about things, I had always just been told that he didn't want a funeral. Then B) I hated the thought of seeing him dead in a box, and then seeing him in the ground.
My uncle, intentionally or not, made me feel like shit about not wanting to go, on top of the fact that I had a five year old that would litterally not leave my side for two days. If I tried to leave her for more than a minute or two, she was hunting for me, and if I said I really wanted some time to myself, she'd whine. The only one who tried to get her out of my hair was my aunt. Don't get me wrong, I love the kid, and I did think it was very sweet that she wanted to spend so much time with me, but when you are emotionally unstable due to a death of a loved one, having a five year old you actually barely know clinging to your leg every two seconds really doesn't help. I did have fun with her, and my familu, but it was time for me to leave.
So early Saturday afternoon, my aunt and uncle helped me pack their SUV, and drove me about an hour away to meet up with my best friend. I've talked about her, all my friends back home, and some of the more active people on Music = Life know about her. Those who haven't met her yet, will soon, as we made like four videos in one day on Saturday, and like one very short one yesterday. As meantioned before, those will be posted as soon as possible, but it might take a while. If I can get their computer to let me, I may try to edit a couple of them together so there won't be like four very short videos. Our one from Walmart is about ten minutes though. I may actually make a video on my own, so it can be my first actual vlog. I feel a random video at Walmart just isn't the best idea to start off my 'vlogging'. I still don't like that word, I'm not sure why. I just don't.
Goodness, I get off topic! So, anyways, back on topic. See this is why I need to just start making videos, its perfectly okay to go off topic like four times then. Anyways, so Sara and I met up at what is probably the biggest mall I've ever seen. That's sort of sad to be honest, because it wasn't that big compared to some malls. It was two stories though, and I had never been in one of those. We went into Red Robins, and had lunch with her sister, Jenna and her friend DeeDee. I had never been in a Red Robins before, and honestly I wasn't overly impressed. I was told though, my problem was you must get a burger, not chicken. I am super picky about burgers, so I figured I wouldn't like theirs. Plus, they ere fucking exspensive. As it was I spent $20 on our lunch. It was just plain awful. I ended up only eating the fries!
We went into the mall, and I was so surprised! Their Hot Topic and Spencers were oth twice as big as the one I'm used to, and had more of the T-shirts I wanted. I ended up with the "Get Off Your Knees" Asking Alexandria shirt that I've wanted for a while. My Hot Topic back home only had it for a shirt while and sold out, like it does with everything actually worth buying.
I was also amazed by the two story merry-go-round. I couldn't spell the actual word to save my life, and this computer is just slow enough I can't use spell check.I had never seen such a thing! I took a picture of it and was very amused. I think if we ever go back there, we'll end up on it. We got dropped off here, did a little work on our room, and then ran back out to Walmart, and their local mall where I had one of the best sugar cookies ever! It looked like Mike from Monsters Inc, and was so good! We also went into Books A Million and found a parody of "If you give a mouse a cookie". We all know that one, but not a lot of people know "If you give a kid a cookie (will he shut the fuck up"). The book was short, so we took the five minutes o read it. Basically, don't give a kid a cookie, he still won't shut the fuck up. That is what the book said, just in different words.
This trip has prove a lot. Not only has it been hectic and fun, but I discovered that I am way stronger than I realized. My mom and I were talking the other night, she said she would have been a mess leaving home for the first time, losing my great grandpa before I could even see him, having practically no time to myself for days (which I'm used to a lot of), and then having everyone's opinion on things pushed onto me. There were times I did break down bawling, but that was because of Grandpa, not anything else. All I got from the stress was a serious case of aches and pains in my head, shoulders and back. My back still hurts, but that's probably from the air mattress.
I also discovered something. I've always had a ten o'clock "bedtime", and for some reason I always got tired around 10 or 11. Being away from home, except for on the ride over here, I haven't gotten tired before 11:30 at the earliest. One night I was up until 3 am -just because I couldn't sleep! I am wondering now if maybe I just got tired that early out of habit. It is possible, honestly.
Well, I'm gonna go now. I still have stuff to do, and would like to get more of it done before my friend comes back from school. I'll keep you guys posted as much as I can. Videos still to come, pictures too. I'm gonna go now. Bye!
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Random Blog #19: Easter (and my views on religion)
Happy Easter to all who are celebrating this holiday. I personally am not, as I feel its only a holiday for those who are either young enough to believe in the Easter Bunny, or are very religious. I am neither of those things, so my family is doing nothing for this holiday. Quite litterally, nobody has acknowledged the day yet. I suppose I could, but why? It really doesn't matter to me.
I saw that Andy Biersack of Black Veil Brides posted about Easter through several Tweets through Twitter. I found it through a fan page, that was inspired by a Bryan Stars interview, but his messages got me thinking.
"We celebrate two birthdays for Christ in this country. Regular birth and undead rebirth. What's everyone doing for the lords zombie bday?
I remember loving Easter as a kid, in the. Catholic church it's like the super bowl of holy days.
Btw where in the bible does it talk about the lords love of protein based scavenger hunts? Jesus loves egg trickery
That wasn't a slight at anyone's beliefs, I just love how we all (myself included) openly practice random traditions without any skepticism."
Keep in mind, Andy has said in interviews before that he is not religious, but grew up in a semi religious household. What all he just said there, which was about four Tweets, was a lot like what I often think about this holiday. Before I go on further, explaining myself, I want to say one thing. I personally hate religion, but I'm not looking to start trouble. I don't care if you have a religion, I don't care if you're proud of it. I just don't want you craming it down my throat. Please do not be offended by anything I am about to say, I am only speaking my mind.
It never made sense to me, how someone can die, and then rise again jsut a few days later. I've always said, if its real at all, there must have been either magic or a horrible, horrible mistake. Like they all thought he was dead, and then he finally managed to get the strength up to say "I'm alive." I've never actually read the Bible, so I'm not entirely sure how everything is told. I can't wrap my brain around how Christians believe Jesus was so amazing, but yet they don't believe in magic. I was told several times not to put human limits on God, but yet they'd then still say, "He did it without magic." Its impossible to do some of the things he supposedly did, then!
Also, I've never understood why we celebrate the fact that someone died! Good Friday is the day Jesus was hung on the cross, why the fuck is that a good thing??? Think of how much that had to hurt! I always found it to be heartless that the stories say that "God sacrificed his only son for your sins." I think that's horrible! You do not tell your son, "Oh, I'm gonna put you up on a cross so you can save the rest of the world." It doesn't work that way anyways! How can one person getting killed save the world? It doesn't. Well, I suppose it could, if that person had been trying to take over the world or something.
Another thing is I hate how hypocrtical and judgemental so many devout Christians are. I'm not saying all of them are, but I've seen several supposed "Good Christians" say "Don't judge people, its a sin." but yet if you don't agree with them their automatic response is to correct you, and tell you the 'truth'. If you still don't believe them, they say, "Well, then I'm sorry, but until you let God save you, you will not be getting into Heaven."
That's something else I don't understand. If God is all forgiving, why would anything short of being an all around horrible person stop you from getting into Heaven? I don't believe in Hell either, I believe that's life. We got through a ton of shit in life, but you suck it up and deal with it, or you crash down and feel sorry for yourself. I feel like everyone can get into Heaven, unless you did some horrible thing like were a terrorist, serial killer, rapist, or something like that. If you are one of those people, I feel like you just die. That's it. You get nothing else after that, because you didn't deserve it. You won't even have the option of letting your spirit roam the world, you're just dead in the ground. Morbid, I know, but that's how I feel it goes.
I don't like it when people push relgion on me, and I don't try to change people's minds about their beliefs. What they believe, is what they believe, and what I believe is what I believe. That's fine. I've never seen any real proof that there is anything, and I do find it very hard to believe. If someone could find me tangable proof, maybe my mind will change. Until then, my mind is made up. That simply means, I believe in a higher power, but I don't believe in active religion.
How do you feel about religion? What do you believe? I want to know, so leave a comment and tell me how you feel. To anyone who celebrates Easter, happy Easter. I hope its filled with family, candy, and plenty of delicious foods. For all those who don't, well, do what I do: Look forward to the discounted candy tomorrow!
I saw that Andy Biersack of Black Veil Brides posted about Easter through several Tweets through Twitter. I found it through a fan page, that was inspired by a Bryan Stars interview, but his messages got me thinking.
"We celebrate two birthdays for Christ in this country. Regular birth and undead rebirth. What's everyone doing for the lords zombie bday?
I remember loving Easter as a kid, in the. Catholic church it's like the super bowl of holy days.
Btw where in the bible does it talk about the lords love of protein based scavenger hunts? Jesus loves egg trickery
That wasn't a slight at anyone's beliefs, I just love how we all (myself included) openly practice random traditions without any skepticism."
Keep in mind, Andy has said in interviews before that he is not religious, but grew up in a semi religious household. What all he just said there, which was about four Tweets, was a lot like what I often think about this holiday. Before I go on further, explaining myself, I want to say one thing. I personally hate religion, but I'm not looking to start trouble. I don't care if you have a religion, I don't care if you're proud of it. I just don't want you craming it down my throat. Please do not be offended by anything I am about to say, I am only speaking my mind.
It never made sense to me, how someone can die, and then rise again jsut a few days later. I've always said, if its real at all, there must have been either magic or a horrible, horrible mistake. Like they all thought he was dead, and then he finally managed to get the strength up to say "I'm alive." I've never actually read the Bible, so I'm not entirely sure how everything is told. I can't wrap my brain around how Christians believe Jesus was so amazing, but yet they don't believe in magic. I was told several times not to put human limits on God, but yet they'd then still say, "He did it without magic." Its impossible to do some of the things he supposedly did, then!
Also, I've never understood why we celebrate the fact that someone died! Good Friday is the day Jesus was hung on the cross, why the fuck is that a good thing??? Think of how much that had to hurt! I always found it to be heartless that the stories say that "God sacrificed his only son for your sins." I think that's horrible! You do not tell your son, "Oh, I'm gonna put you up on a cross so you can save the rest of the world." It doesn't work that way anyways! How can one person getting killed save the world? It doesn't. Well, I suppose it could, if that person had been trying to take over the world or something.
Another thing is I hate how hypocrtical and judgemental so many devout Christians are. I'm not saying all of them are, but I've seen several supposed "Good Christians" say "Don't judge people, its a sin." but yet if you don't agree with them their automatic response is to correct you, and tell you the 'truth'. If you still don't believe them, they say, "Well, then I'm sorry, but until you let God save you, you will not be getting into Heaven."
That's something else I don't understand. If God is all forgiving, why would anything short of being an all around horrible person stop you from getting into Heaven? I don't believe in Hell either, I believe that's life. We got through a ton of shit in life, but you suck it up and deal with it, or you crash down and feel sorry for yourself. I feel like everyone can get into Heaven, unless you did some horrible thing like were a terrorist, serial killer, rapist, or something like that. If you are one of those people, I feel like you just die. That's it. You get nothing else after that, because you didn't deserve it. You won't even have the option of letting your spirit roam the world, you're just dead in the ground. Morbid, I know, but that's how I feel it goes.
I don't like it when people push relgion on me, and I don't try to change people's minds about their beliefs. What they believe, is what they believe, and what I believe is what I believe. That's fine. I've never seen any real proof that there is anything, and I do find it very hard to believe. If someone could find me tangable proof, maybe my mind will change. Until then, my mind is made up. That simply means, I believe in a higher power, but I don't believe in active religion.
How do you feel about religion? What do you believe? I want to know, so leave a comment and tell me how you feel. To anyone who celebrates Easter, happy Easter. I hope its filled with family, candy, and plenty of delicious foods. For all those who don't, well, do what I do: Look forward to the discounted candy tomorrow!
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