I'm gonna have the weirdest house.

I have been thinking about redoing my room, just because I can. That got me thinking, once I move out, the place I live in is going to be the weirdest place ever. If I'm allowed to paint, I know my room will be purple. Probably a dark purple, and I imagine the living room being a bit calmer, but not really. Like a blue or something. That might have something to do with the fact that our living room is a sky blue, and has been since the week we moved in. I want the guest bathroom to be very bright and vibrant, like a semi bright yellow or something. Mine though, despite the fact that I am far from girly, will be girly. I've always wanted a pink bathroom, with all the makeup spread out, and fluffy towels hanging on racks, things like that. I don't know why, I just do.

     I haven't planned it all out, and of course not everything goes as planned, but the main thing about my house is for it to be unique. I already know that my house, instead of having normal art, and things, it will have framed band posters, and photographs that I personally took all over the house. I also really want to have random little things that are conversation starters. Like a tie dye beanbag chair, an antique looking phone, a random splash of color on the wall, ect.

     I don't like matching things, and that's sort of obvious by the way my house is. I'm not kidding, on the outside it looks normal for the most part, but when you walk in the door you see colors. The kitchen is bright yellow, the living room/ dining room is medium blue, my room is too shades of purple, and my brother's room is orange. The only normal colored rooms in the house are my parents room, and both bathrooms.

         I mainly want to have odd little knick knacks and things. I got that idea from an old Shane Dawson video, where he was asking fans what random things he should put in his house. Most people said a stripper pole, but for Shane's fans, that's not surprising a bit. I might not go that far, or I might, I don't know yet!

   My room now reflects who I am a lot, and I like that. A room, or a house, should reflect on who you are. My room shows that my favorite color is purple, and that I'm obessed with music. The notebooks spread out on a bookcase show that I'm a writer, the framed photographs show that I'm a photographer. On top of that, the fact that I have a ton of Disney and girly movies proves that while I look one way, I still have my girly side to me.

   I want to one day have my own actual office for Immortal Music, and I've already decided that I'm going to have a prop room. None of the bands will see it, but before anyone comes in for an interview or photoshoot, I'll go and put random things in the room, just to see what they do. Like if it was say, All Time Low, I'd probably put a lot of toys in the room for them. Or Blood On The Dance Floor, lightsabers would be perfect. I'd want them to feel comfortable, and to remember me differently then they remember everyone else.

So, I'm going to stop now, I want to get started on my room. Leave a comment telling me about your room/ house. Or, what random thing you'd want, just because?

Parents need to realize when their job is complete

I was listening to Shinedown's song, "Second Chance" and got to thinking about how true the lyrics are. A parent's job is never fully done, but they need to realize when the majority of it is done. There comes a time in every kid's life when they suddenly realize that they are no longer a child. You start seeing the world different. Some people are ready to take on the world, some are not. That's perfectly fine though. Anyone who is not ready will get there in time. I personaly though, am ready. I view the world totally different, the past few months have really changed me a lot. I'm still myself, I'm still the girl that likes to talk on the phone until midnight, and gets excited over Build A Bear, but I am also the adult that knows that I need to be tactful about life. I know you need money to do things, and that nothing comes easy. The difference between being a kid and being an adult is knowing when you need to be serious, and when you can joke around. There's honestly not a big difference between adults and kids. Even adults like to do stupid little things like play in the sprinklers from time to time, or watch kids movies for no reason. Unfortunately, my parents have yet to realize that they've done they're job, and  they've done it well.

"Tell my mother, tell my father I've done best I can to make them realize this is my life. I hope they understand. I'm not angry, I'm just saying sometimes goodbye is a second chance. "

Parents have to let you say goodbye sometimes so they can look and see what a good person they've created. Or sometimes, a goodbye will make everything better. It doesn't always. Saying goodbye helped my relationship with my dad a lot, but it tore my relationship with my mother apart. They need to realize though, I have major dreams, and I know I can reach them. I know now that I can stand on my own two feet.

I don't need them like I used to. I still need them in my life, I just no longer need them to make all the descions. I really wish my mother would see that. I don't think she even realizes she does it, but in a way, she seems to think she can still control my life. Has anyone else felt like this? Like their parents attempt to control your life, even though you're old enough to make your own choices?

  I've noticed if my mom knows I'm in an arugment with anyone, she will even go so far as to say, "Tell them I said.." or, "Say this.." Come on, really? Nobody cares what you say about the situation, Mom. Its not your fight its mine, and I'm going to use my words not yours. Is my mom the only one that does that? I give you, I used to be too nice for my own good, and let everyone walk all over me, but she needs to realize that I'm no longer like that.

     This past year has actually changed me a lot. I'm not a naive kid anymore. I'm an adult. Why doesn't anyone understand that? I actually feel grown up now. Its only recently hit me that I am grown up, and so are most of my friends.

Guess I'm doing something right

My mother reads a lot, and talks to a lot of fellow OCD readers, and some authors. She's become friendly with some of them online, and one of them actually wrote a book, and has a rock band. Of course, I heard rock band and told her to send him my way. She didn't put me in contact with him directly, but she sent him to Immortal Music and Music = Life. He informed my mother last night in an email that he has released the album for the rock opera he's been working on, and enclosed a link. I will be reviewing it for him, but he also made a comment about my work that both excited and confused me.

               He told my mother that he thinks I'd be a good "marketing mogul." I said that was cool, but didn't quite know what it meant. Like every other person of our generation, I Googled it. Just through what I can find on Wikipedia, I think it means I'm a good sales person. Like, I can come up with something good, work hard on it, get people interested in it, and I get the people to like me so they contiune checking back. So basically, I think he just said that I'm already getting to a good start with what I want to do.

      I want to be a music jouranlist. That's no secret, I share that with the world, both online and offline. You do have to work very hard, and its all about the bands and appealing to those fans. You appeal to them, and somewhere along the line, you recieve a fanbase of your own. I know I already have a fan base, and I am not talking about the amount of 'likes' on the Facebook page. That means nothing, since I do not have 720 people commenting on everything I post. That just means 720 people have pressed a button on a page, that does not make them fans.

   Off the top of my head, I can name off about five or six people that are 'fans'. One of them being my "manager", and he's actually the only "fan" that I have that is known in person. I've only had two people tell me they're a fan of mine, but I can tell I have others. They may not be fans of Immortal Music, but they're fans of me.

        I'm going to be honest with you guys, I actually put more into the Facebook page than I do on my own profile. I hardly ever post on my profile, all I do is IM people, like things, and play games. I don't post constantly, and only once a month or so, do I post any pictures. Ever since the page started getting active, I've actually looked forward to seeing every single day who says what.

Our parents probably think its completely stupid that we spend hours a day on the computer, doing nothing but sitting on Facebook and watching YouTube videos. I admit, sometimes it is totally pointless, but other times its not. With the internet today, you can learn so much with just a click of the mouse, or make friends with someone half way across the world. Thirty years ago, you could do that, but it was through snail mail, and you'd probably only hear back from them once or twice a month because the mail is so slow.

        Music = Life came a full year before Immortal Music, just because I wanted a page where I could talk to people about music. It honestly didn't work for a very long time, I almost deleted the page several times because nobody was on it. I had less than 100 people for probably the first six months I had the damn page, and 40 of them were my friends. Only two or three of my friends actually care about what I do, the rest just ignore it and go, "Oh, that's nice." from time to time when I talk to them about this stuff.

              I love the fanbase I'm building, and the people the bring in. We all hear people say, "I love my fans!", and people tend to just assume they like the attention. I'm beginning to see that is not true, or at least for me it isn't. I love the fans I've recieved, because they have similar interests to myself. I can talk to several of the people on the page about random things, even off-topic things that make no sense to the original subject. I consider some of them to be friends.

  Today I am proud of myself. :) I like this feeling a lot. Thank you so much, guys!