Two week update.

I have been in Indiana a little over two weeks now, and while I have gotten homesick and wanted to go home from time to time, it's actually been a good time so far. I've actually been really enjpying spending so much time with my best friend, as we've known each other six years and have never gotten to spend this much time together. We haven't gotten to so a ton yet, but compared TO what I'm used to,we sort of have. We've been into Indianapolis twice in the past week, for the mall, an Earth Day festival, and my first ever muesum. We've been having a lot of fun. We went of Build A Bear, where I made my first one, it's a little tan bunny, that I named Ashley, after Ashley Purdy of Black Veil Brides. We all went into a Hot Topic that had a screen in the back that they played music videos on. I think they got the idea from the Disney store, which was across the hall. Speaking of Disney stores! Has anyone heard of that game where you try to get to the back of the Disney store without a single employee saying anything to you? For the first time ever, I managed that. Twice. On Saturday we went to the earth day festival. That was boring and cold, so we decided to check out the muesum that was right next to it. I hadn't ever been in a muesum before, but even though the name of the place sounded boring, it was actually pretty cool. We saw old TV's from the 60s to the 2000s, old trains and cars, famous people that were born in Indiana, like the Jackson's an Axel Rose. They even had their own mini rock and roll hall of fame! Unfortunately, that section Said we werent allowed to take pictures. That annoyed the both of us, a lot. They had huge pictures of ate Beatles, and an actual guitar used by Elvis Presley. So that was pretty cool. I still do not get why they had picturs of Marilyn Monroe, Abraham Lincoln, and George Washington in there. I am also so proud of Sara and IM I've been sleeping on an air mattress for the past two weeks, and it had a hole in it on the side. We fixed that last week, but air was still eacaping from, but we didnt know where it was. Last night, Sara refilled it, and was laying on it and it sunk down overly fast? So we filled it back up and began searching for the hole. We checked all the sides, and found nothing, so we decided to check the top. Sure enough. There were to, somewhat big holes on the top. So we patched those up with duct tape and superglue, and fused it together with a hair drier. Last night was the first night it didn't deflate at all so that made me very happy. I also went to church for the first time in a few years yesterday. We just helped out int he misery, but that's something I am generally alright with. I enjoy little kids. We also went out or launch with some people that are just like family to Sara at a chinese buffet. It was some really good food. I'm going to turnoff the Ipad soon, clean up some and hop int he showr soon. I'd like to get some suff done before tonight, when we got to their pastor's daughter's birthday party. I met her yesterday, she seemed really nice. I think I baffled a lot of people by knowg who they were before heheh introduced themselves. Most of them knew who I was though, because Sara likes to talk about the people in her life. That didn't sound good, but I meant it to.

It's been one week

I've been up north for exactly a week now. I am doing well, though there is a lot I missBputhome. Like having a real bed, a computer that isn't a dinosaur, a tv with actual channels in my room.... Mainly the little things. It seems weird to think I've already been up here a week. I dont know where the time went. I've been having fun for the most part though, and I've gotten Adjusted surprisingly well.

If I do say so myself, and I do, I think I'm doing so much better than expected. We all expected that the entire first week I'd cry wanting to go home. I have cried, but not because I wanted to go home. That was because of my great grandpa's death. I talked about that in the last blog, if anyone actually read that.

I got to my best friend's house this past Saturday, and I am really enjoying spending time with her. We haven't been able to spend more than a day or two together in about four years. She moved up north About four years ago and our time together got limited to a day or two once a year or so when her family came down for visits. It's really nice getting to see each other every day. I'm sure it'll get old eventually, that we will begin to drive each other crazy but that's inevitable. Regardless of the inevitable For now I am loving it here. I'm enjoying not only being with my best friend, but the feeling of being on my own when I'm not.

I've applied for a job As a receptionist at Sara's beauty school on Tuesday. That same day she cut my hair to look similar to Ashley Purdy's from Black Veil Brides, and did my nails. I told her she is lucky I love her because I did let her do a pedicure and while mot people love those, I HATE having my feet touched. She did a good job but there were several points I pulled away just because of my own disgust. The night before that she dyed my hair right ple and I love it so much. Sooner or later, we are going to put blue on too. It's currently two to ed, purple on top, brown on the bottom. I think eventually the brown part will be turned blue, but I'm not sure when just yet.

Our room is set up, And I've made her dad very happy because yesterday while they were all out I cleaned the house and did the laundry. I guess he honestly didn't elect me to so Anything around the house after All. I told him I would help out, but I guess he didn't believe it.

I'm one of these people that does work when I'm home alone. I get bored and nobody is in my way so I cn actually get a lot done.

Well guys, nowhou're cAught up. I'm not sure what we're doing this weekend. A few things were discussed. Her dad ants to go mushroom hunting, though I'm not sure how that sounds like fun. Tere just mushrooms, and all you're doing is finding the, And picking them. Big freakin' deal. Sara and I are talking about either going shoe shopping, or to Indianapolas' four story mall. Can you believe until this past weekend, I had never even seen a two story mall? Most people say the mall I'm used to back home isn't even a mall because it's just that small. Everyone from My part of Florida knows what I'm talking about.

I do not disclose where I am exactly for safety reasons. It's not smart to say exactly where you live on the web. Those who have me a a friend on Facebook will know where I live and where I'm from, but other than that, you will only know the state.

Keep checking back for more updates. I promise to try to post More on Music = Life, but to help me puti got my "manager" Jonathan to also be an admin. So far he has not posted anything, but he says he will soon.

Lack of posts

Hey all, here i am again. I wanted to take a few minutes to explains why I haven't been posting as actively as I usually do. I am hoping to get back to posting at least somewhat more actively but for now i really haven't had the time.

I believe I made it very clear over the last few weeks that I was taking a trip to Indiana from florida. Well, on Tuesday, April 11, 2012. I made my journey up here with an old friend of my mother's and her sister. The trip went by really fast, and really enjoyed taking pictures. If anyone on Music = Life wishes to see them, let me know. For everyone else (as I plan on posting this on my Facebook profile as well), when I get them up, they'll be on my profile. You probably won't be able to miss them, as of right now, 248 on my camera. That includes the pictures from my going away party. I am having difficulties trying to post them as of right now, because my camera for some stupid reason didn't come with a cord, and the computer I am currently on is just old enough that it doesn't have an SD card slot. We'll figure something out, I'm sure. I also have some videos that I need to post. That is the easy part, though uploading them to YouTube may be a pain in the ass. Slowly but surely, I'll get you guys updated.

        I've only been up here five days and I must say its been pretty hectic. I've slept in three houses, in two states since then, with three different families (only one of them is my actual family) and in only one place did I have an actual bed. My first night in Indiana, I felt a bit like Harry Potter because the room was secluded from everyone else in the house, and it had slanted ceiling. It wasn't a small room, but the slanted wall/ ceiling sort of made it feel like I was under stairs or something, even though I wasn't.

      The following afternoon, I got a surprise visit from my Aunt and Uncle, and I was happy about it...for about five minutes. We gathered my stuff, and piled it in the car just for him to pull into a parking lot for a Country Club about half a mile down from the house I was staying at. I assumed he wanted to walk around, since they had just driven four hours from Michigan to come get me. So I grabbed my purse, climbed out and was prepared to go walk around a bit when he all the sudden placed a hand on my arm with a look on his face that I will probably never forget. I didn't know what was going on, until he suddenly said, "Grandpa died this morning."

       My great grandpa's death came as a shock to me. Given he would have been 90 in June, and actually had practically every illness and other things that one could have, so honestly, it was a wonder he was still alive. Even the doctors didn't know why he was still alive, they said for fourty years that he should have been dead long ago. He had heart issues, diabetes, was obese, went blind, was nearly deaf, and he had only one leg after getting hit by a drunk driver while he and his wife were on a motorcycle. There were many scares, but he always pulled through. I guess I had gotten so used to him having miraculous recoveries, that I just assumed he'd make it through this too. He was in the hospital over a week, and passed away in his sleep. That is a blessing, and while it does kill me inside to know that I didn't get to see him alive one last time, and that it was so close to when I finally got back up here.

      His funeral was yesterday, and I did not go. I didn't feel comfortable with it for several reasons. The main two were because a) He didn't even want a funeral in the first place. Though come to find out he did set a small one up before he passed away just so the family woulf shut up and be happy. I did not know this until I had already made up my mind about things, I had always just been told that he didn't want a funeral. Then B) I hated the thought of seeing him dead in a box, and then seeing him in the ground.

     My uncle, intentionally or not, made me feel like shit about not wanting to go, on top of the fact that I had a five year old that would litterally not leave my side for two days. If I tried to leave her for more than a minute or two, she was hunting for me, and if I said I really wanted some time to myself, she'd whine. The only one who tried to get her out of my hair was my aunt. Don't get me wrong, I love the kid, and I did think it was very sweet that she wanted to spend so much time with me, but when you are emotionally unstable due to a death of a loved one, having a five year old you actually barely know clinging to your leg every two seconds really doesn't help. I did have fun with her, and my familu, but it was time for me to leave.

         So early Saturday afternoon, my aunt and uncle helped me pack their SUV, and drove me about an hour away to meet up with my best friend. I've talked about her, all my friends back home, and some of the more active people on Music = Life know about her. Those who haven't met her yet, will soon, as we made like four videos in one day on Saturday, and like one very short one yesterday. As meantioned before, those will be posted as soon as possible, but it might take a while. If I can get their computer to let me, I may try to edit a couple of them together so there won't be like four very short videos. Our one from Walmart is about ten minutes though.  I may actually make a video on my own, so it can be my first actual vlog. I feel a random video at Walmart just isn't the best idea to start off my 'vlogging'. I still don't like that word, I'm not sure why. I just don't.

     Goodness, I get off topic! So, anyways, back on topic. See this is why I need to just start making videos, its perfectly okay to go off topic like four times then. Anyways, so Sara and I met up at what is probably the biggest mall I've ever seen. That's sort of sad to be honest, because it wasn't that big compared to some malls. It was two stories though, and I had never been in one of those. We went into Red Robins, and had lunch with her sister, Jenna and her friend DeeDee. I had never been in a Red Robins before, and honestly I wasn't overly impressed. I was told though, my problem was you must get a burger, not chicken. I am super picky about burgers, so I figured I wouldn't like theirs. Plus, they ere fucking exspensive. As it was I spent $20 on our lunch. It was just plain awful. I ended up only eating the fries!

  We went into the mall, and I was so surprised! Their Hot Topic and Spencers were oth twice as big as the one I'm used to, and had more of the T-shirts I wanted. I ended up with the "Get Off Your Knees"  Asking Alexandria shirt that I've wanted for a while. My Hot Topic back home only had it for a shirt while and sold out, like it does with everything actually worth buying.

     I was also amazed by the two story merry-go-round. I couldn't spell the actual word to save my life, and this computer is just slow enough I can't use spell check.I had never seen such a thing! I took a picture of it and was very amused. I think if we ever go back there, we'll end up on it.   We got dropped off here, did a little work on our room, and then ran back out to Walmart, and their local mall where I had one of the best sugar cookies ever! It looked like Mike from Monsters Inc, and was so good! We also went into Books A Million and found a parody of "If you give a mouse a cookie". We all know that one, but not a lot of people know "If you give a kid a cookie (will he shut the fuck up"). The book was short, so we took the five minutes o read it. Basically, don't give a kid a cookie, he still won't shut the fuck up. That is what the book said, just in different words.

      This trip has prove a lot. Not only has it been hectic and fun, but I discovered that I am way stronger than I realized. My mom and I were talking the other night, she said she would have been a mess leaving home for the first time, losing my great grandpa before I could even see him, having practically no time to myself for days (which I'm used to a lot of), and then having everyone's opinion on things pushed onto me. There were times I did break down bawling, but that was because of Grandpa, not anything else. All I got from the stress was a serious case of aches and pains in my head, shoulders and back. My back still hurts, but that's probably from the air mattress.

    I also discovered something. I've always had a ten o'clock "bedtime", and for some reason I always got tired around 10 or 11. Being away from home, except for on the ride over here, I haven't gotten tired before 11:30 at the earliest. One night I was up until 3 am -just because I couldn't sleep! I am wondering now if maybe I just got tired that early out of habit. It is possible, honestly.

     Well, I'm gonna go now. I still have stuff to do, and would like to get more of it done before my friend comes back from school. I'll keep you guys posted as much as I can. Videos still to come, pictures too. I'm gonna go now. Bye!

Random Blog #19: Easter (and my views on religion)

Happy Easter to all who are celebrating this holiday. I personally am not, as I feel its only a holiday for those who are either young enough to believe in the Easter Bunny, or are very religious. I am neither of those things, so my family is doing nothing for this holiday. Quite litterally, nobody has acknowledged the day yet. I suppose I could, but why? It really doesn't matter to me.
   I saw that Andy Biersack of Black Veil Brides posted about Easter through several Tweets through Twitter. I found it through a fan page, that was inspired by a Bryan Stars interview, but his messages got me thinking.
           "We celebrate two birthdays for Christ in this country. Regular birth and undead rebirth. What's everyone doing for the lords zombie bday?
 I remember loving Easter as a kid, in the. Catholic church it's like the super bowl of holy days.
 Btw where in the bible does it talk about the lords love of protein based scavenger hunts? Jesus loves egg trickery
 That wasn't a slight at anyone's beliefs, I just love how we all (myself included) openly practice random traditions without any skepticism."
  Keep in mind, Andy has said in interviews before that he is not religious, but grew up in a semi religious household. What all he just said there, which was about four Tweets, was a lot like what I often think about this holiday. Before I go on further, explaining myself, I want to say one thing. I personally hate religion, but I'm not looking to start trouble. I don't care if you have a religion, I don't care if you're proud of it. I just don't want you craming it down my throat. Please do not be offended by anything I am about to say, I am only speaking my mind.
       It never made sense to me, how someone can die, and then rise again jsut a few days later. I've always said, if its real at all, there must have been either magic or a horrible, horrible mistake. Like they all thought he was dead, and then he finally managed to get the strength up to say "I'm alive." I've never actually read the Bible, so I'm not entirely sure how everything is told. I can't wrap my brain around how Christians believe Jesus was so amazing, but yet they don't believe in magic. I was told several times not to put human limits on God, but yet they'd then still say, "He did it without magic." Its impossible to do some of the things he supposedly did, then!

  Also, I've never understood why we celebrate the fact that someone died! Good Friday is the day Jesus was hung on the cross, why the fuck is that a good thing??? Think of how much that had to hurt! I always found it to be heartless that the stories say that "God sacrificed his only son for your sins." I think that's horrible! You do not tell your son, "Oh, I'm gonna put you up on a cross so you can save the rest of the world." It doesn't work that way anyways! How can one person getting killed save the world? It doesn't. Well, I suppose it could, if that person had been trying to take over the world or something.
       Another thing is I hate how hypocrtical and judgemental so many devout Christians are.  I'm not saying all of them are, but I've seen several supposed "Good Christians" say "Don't judge people, its a sin." but yet if you don't agree with them their automatic response is to correct you, and tell you the 'truth'. If you still don't believe them, they say, "Well, then I'm sorry, but until you let God save you, you will not be getting into Heaven."
     That's something else I don't understand. If God is all forgiving, why would anything short of being an all around horrible person stop you from getting into Heaven? I don't believe in Hell either, I believe that's life. We got through a ton of shit in life, but you suck it up and deal with it, or you crash down and feel sorry for yourself. I feel like everyone can get into Heaven, unless you did some horrible thing like were a terrorist, serial killer, rapist, or something like that. If you are one of those people, I feel like you just die. That's it. You get nothing else after that, because you didn't deserve it. You won't even have the option of letting your spirit roam the world, you're just dead in the ground. Morbid, I know, but that's how I feel it goes.

   I don't like it when people push relgion on me, and I don't try to change people's minds about their beliefs. What they believe, is what they believe, and what I believe is what I believe. That's fine. I've never seen any real proof that there is anything, and I do find it very hard to believe. If someone could find me tangable proof, maybe my mind will change. Until then, my mind is made up. That simply means, I believe in a higher power, but I don't believe in active religion.

  How do you feel about religion? What do you believe? I want to know, so leave a comment and tell me how you feel. To anyone who celebrates Easter, happy Easter. I hope its filled with family, candy, and plenty of delicious foods. For all those who don't, well, do what I do: Look forward to the discounted candy tomorrow!