Monday, April 16, 2012

Lack of posts

Hey all, here i am again. I wanted to take a few minutes to explains why I haven't been posting as actively as I usually do. I am hoping to get back to posting at least somewhat more actively but for now i really haven't had the time.

I believe I made it very clear over the last few weeks that I was taking a trip to Indiana from florida. Well, on Tuesday, April 11, 2012. I made my journey up here with an old friend of my mother's and her sister. The trip went by really fast, and really enjoyed taking pictures. If anyone on Music = Life wishes to see them, let me know. For everyone else (as I plan on posting this on my Facebook profile as well), when I get them up, they'll be on my profile. You probably won't be able to miss them, as of right now, 248 on my camera. That includes the pictures from my going away party. I am having difficulties trying to post them as of right now, because my camera for some stupid reason didn't come with a cord, and the computer I am currently on is just old enough that it doesn't have an SD card slot. We'll figure something out, I'm sure. I also have some videos that I need to post. That is the easy part, though uploading them to YouTube may be a pain in the ass. Slowly but surely, I'll get you guys updated.

        I've only been up here five days and I must say its been pretty hectic. I've slept in three houses, in two states since then, with three different families (only one of them is my actual family) and in only one place did I have an actual bed. My first night in Indiana, I felt a bit like Harry Potter because the room was secluded from everyone else in the house, and it had slanted ceiling. It wasn't a small room, but the slanted wall/ ceiling sort of made it feel like I was under stairs or something, even though I wasn't.

      The following afternoon, I got a surprise visit from my Aunt and Uncle, and I was happy about it...for about five minutes. We gathered my stuff, and piled it in the car just for him to pull into a parking lot for a Country Club about half a mile down from the house I was staying at. I assumed he wanted to walk around, since they had just driven four hours from Michigan to come get me. So I grabbed my purse, climbed out and was prepared to go walk around a bit when he all the sudden placed a hand on my arm with a look on his face that I will probably never forget. I didn't know what was going on, until he suddenly said, "Grandpa died this morning."

       My great grandpa's death came as a shock to me. Given he would have been 90 in June, and actually had practically every illness and other things that one could have, so honestly, it was a wonder he was still alive. Even the doctors didn't know why he was still alive, they said for fourty years that he should have been dead long ago. He had heart issues, diabetes, was obese, went blind, was nearly deaf, and he had only one leg after getting hit by a drunk driver while he and his wife were on a motorcycle. There were many scares, but he always pulled through. I guess I had gotten so used to him having miraculous recoveries, that I just assumed he'd make it through this too. He was in the hospital over a week, and passed away in his sleep. That is a blessing, and while it does kill me inside to know that I didn't get to see him alive one last time, and that it was so close to when I finally got back up here.

      His funeral was yesterday, and I did not go. I didn't feel comfortable with it for several reasons. The main two were because a) He didn't even want a funeral in the first place. Though come to find out he did set a small one up before he passed away just so the family woulf shut up and be happy. I did not know this until I had already made up my mind about things, I had always just been told that he didn't want a funeral. Then B) I hated the thought of seeing him dead in a box, and then seeing him in the ground.

     My uncle, intentionally or not, made me feel like shit about not wanting to go, on top of the fact that I had a five year old that would litterally not leave my side for two days. If I tried to leave her for more than a minute or two, she was hunting for me, and if I said I really wanted some time to myself, she'd whine. The only one who tried to get her out of my hair was my aunt. Don't get me wrong, I love the kid, and I did think it was very sweet that she wanted to spend so much time with me, but when you are emotionally unstable due to a death of a loved one, having a five year old you actually barely know clinging to your leg every two seconds really doesn't help. I did have fun with her, and my familu, but it was time for me to leave.

         So early Saturday afternoon, my aunt and uncle helped me pack their SUV, and drove me about an hour away to meet up with my best friend. I've talked about her, all my friends back home, and some of the more active people on Music = Life know about her. Those who haven't met her yet, will soon, as we made like four videos in one day on Saturday, and like one very short one yesterday. As meantioned before, those will be posted as soon as possible, but it might take a while. If I can get their computer to let me, I may try to edit a couple of them together so there won't be like four very short videos. Our one from Walmart is about ten minutes though.  I may actually make a video on my own, so it can be my first actual vlog. I feel a random video at Walmart just isn't the best idea to start off my 'vlogging'. I still don't like that word, I'm not sure why. I just don't.

     Goodness, I get off topic! So, anyways, back on topic. See this is why I need to just start making videos, its perfectly okay to go off topic like four times then. Anyways, so Sara and I met up at what is probably the biggest mall I've ever seen. That's sort of sad to be honest, because it wasn't that big compared to some malls. It was two stories though, and I had never been in one of those. We went into Red Robins, and had lunch with her sister, Jenna and her friend DeeDee. I had never been in a Red Robins before, and honestly I wasn't overly impressed. I was told though, my problem was you must get a burger, not chicken. I am super picky about burgers, so I figured I wouldn't like theirs. Plus, they ere fucking exspensive. As it was I spent $20 on our lunch. It was just plain awful. I ended up only eating the fries!

  We went into the mall, and I was so surprised! Their Hot Topic and Spencers were oth twice as big as the one I'm used to, and had more of the T-shirts I wanted. I ended up with the "Get Off Your Knees"  Asking Alexandria shirt that I've wanted for a while. My Hot Topic back home only had it for a shirt while and sold out, like it does with everything actually worth buying.

     I was also amazed by the two story merry-go-round. I couldn't spell the actual word to save my life, and this computer is just slow enough I can't use spell check.I had never seen such a thing! I took a picture of it and was very amused. I think if we ever go back there, we'll end up on it.   We got dropped off here, did a little work on our room, and then ran back out to Walmart, and their local mall where I had one of the best sugar cookies ever! It looked like Mike from Monsters Inc, and was so good! We also went into Books A Million and found a parody of "If you give a mouse a cookie". We all know that one, but not a lot of people know "If you give a kid a cookie (will he shut the fuck up"). The book was short, so we took the five minutes o read it. Basically, don't give a kid a cookie, he still won't shut the fuck up. That is what the book said, just in different words.

      This trip has prove a lot. Not only has it been hectic and fun, but I discovered that I am way stronger than I realized. My mom and I were talking the other night, she said she would have been a mess leaving home for the first time, losing my great grandpa before I could even see him, having practically no time to myself for days (which I'm used to a lot of), and then having everyone's opinion on things pushed onto me. There were times I did break down bawling, but that was because of Grandpa, not anything else. All I got from the stress was a serious case of aches and pains in my head, shoulders and back. My back still hurts, but that's probably from the air mattress.

    I also discovered something. I've always had a ten o'clock "bedtime", and for some reason I always got tired around 10 or 11. Being away from home, except for on the ride over here, I haven't gotten tired before 11:30 at the earliest. One night I was up until 3 am -just because I couldn't sleep! I am wondering now if maybe I just got tired that early out of habit. It is possible, honestly.

     Well, I'm gonna go now. I still have stuff to do, and would like to get more of it done before my friend comes back from school. I'll keep you guys posted as much as I can. Videos still to come, pictures too. I'm gonna go now. Bye!

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