This is a pretty serious topic that is discussed a lot. I've seen two different comments lately on a video of mine on YouTube that is highly popular. The video is a lyric video for "Not Strong Enough" by Apocalyptica featuring Brent Smith of Shinedown, and its spurred a lot of conversations in the comment section. I enjoy that, but this past week I have seen things get said such as "Death is sweeter than life..." and "I'm not strong enough to stay alive." Such comments worry me, because what if they're serious?
Sometimes people just say it hoping people will reach out to them. That's not right on one level, but on another, sometimes you get desperate enough that you will do anything for people to listen to you. I responded to both people, telling them to talk to someone right away, or to talk to me even if they wanted.
I want to take a minute to say something to anyone out there who's ever felt like killing themselves. Don't do it. Stop planning your death, and start focusing on your future. Regardless of what you think now, life is wonderful, and you will amount to things one day. Chances are, you're currently just a kid in high school or middle school. Yes, it sucks, you can't do half the shit you want, but you know what? If you end things now, you'll never get to reach your dreams. You know, the things you have always wanted to do, like travel to certain places, meet certain people, do certain things. Things like that don't just happen on their own, usually, you have to work for them. Don't say you're worthless, because you're not.
In my book, everyone is worth something, because its not always what you do in life, its who you are. More than likely, you're a sweet, kind hearted person, who's been mistreated by others. The people who made you feel like that, are the worthless ones, not you. Life does bring you down sometimes, but sometimes you feel so alive that you can't help but smile. You just have to take the good with the bad, because without the bad, you won't ever appericate the good.
Let the bad things drive you to reach further for the the good things. I will admit, life has beaten me down before. I felt more broken then I ever thought was possible last year, my whole world fell apart. I guess I scared my mom by the way I was acting, as she told me after I got better that she was afraid I was going to kill myself. Hearing that shocked me, as the thought only crossed my mind once. I admit it completely, it did cross my mind, after I felt so alone in the world, but then I thought, "That's stupid. He's not worth it."
I had my entire world taken from me, and it killed a part of me that'll never come back, and it does still hurt sometimes, but I do let it drive me. Perhaps its a little mean, but everytime I do something I know he would have enjoyed, I tell him. I'm talking about my ex best friend, who meant the world to me. His family became my second family, and I loved him with everything I had. We spent pretty much every day together for a year, but his girlfriend wanted none of that, and she took him away from me. It was terrible, she'll never realize what she did to me either. He made me who I am today, and I wouldn't be going for the dreams I am now if it had not been for him.
There was a short while where I didn't want to do any of this stuff, for that fact. I considered quitting, but honestly, the best revenge is a smile. Or even better, telling them when you got to go in front of the barricade for one band, on stage with another, hang out with another one, and when you got interviews you know they would have wanted to be there for. 'Course that's what I do. Basically what you want to prove to them you won't let them get the satisfaction of seeing you be down. That's what people tend to want, you want to prove you can live without them.
Seriously though, if you are feeling that way, don't hesitate to talk to someone. I'm here too, if you want.
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